If you took a Psychology 101 class in college, it’s likely that you read about the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment. The experiment sat kids in a room with a marshmallow on the table. If the child could wait 15 minutes before eating it, that child got a second marshmallow as a reward. But some kids could not wait. They did not have the self-control necessary to delay their gratification even a little bit.
When researchers tracked these kids over time, they found that the kids who had been able to delay their gratification actually performed better later in life. They had better standardized test scores, lower body mass index, and generally were more successful. Even though these specific conclusions have been called into question (and other factors, such as economic status, have been found to be as impactful as willpower alone in similar studies), the marshmallow experiment expresses a useful truth: people who are able to practice self-discipline are often happier, healthier, and more successful.
This is not a new revelation. The Stoic philosophers based much of their system on living a disciplined life, including choices about what they wore, what they ate, professions they pursued, etc. The ancient Greeks understood self-discipline as the path to true freedom.
In the modern world, we misunderstand what freedom actually is. Most people think that freedom is actually license. License is the ability to do what you want when you want. Freedom, properly understood, is your ability to become more fully human. As Ryan Holiday notes in his book, Discipline is Destiny, that “we mistake liberty for license. Freedom, as Eisenhower famously said, is actually only the ‘opportunity for self-discipline.’” (xviii)
Self-discipline is more than waiting to eat a marshmallow. It is the result of a series of choices. It is, as Aristotle would say, a habit that has, in the case of something good, become a virtue. “The virtues are stable states of the soul which enable a person to make the right decision about how to act in the circumstances and which motivate him so to act.” Jonathan Lear, Aristotle: the Desire to Understand, at 164. But we do not just happen to become virtuous: “The ethical virtues are instilled in man by habit. None of the ethical virtues arises in us by nature, and yet man has not achieved his highest good, not fully realized his nature, until he has developed the virtues and can lead a happy life.” Lear, at 165.
Aristotle says that only by being virtuous can we fully realize our nature, what it is to be human. And discipline is one of those habits, those virtues, that makes us more human. But it’s not easy.
Discipline is defined variously, but one good working definition is that it is “[t]he root of all good qualities. The driver of daily execution. The core principle that overcomes laziness and lethargy and excuses. Discipline defeats the infinite excuses that say: Not today, not now, I need a rest, I will do it tomorrow.” Jocko Willink, Discipline Equals Freedom, at 3. Discipline starts with a decision to change current behavior—e.g., sitting on the couch watching Netflix with a beer—to a different (and, often, difficult-at-first) behavior—e.g., reading or exercising instead. Discipline is what allowed Dwight Eisenhower to quit smoking:
So after a lifetime of battles, in a lifetime of battles of will, Dwight Eisenhower gave himself the order. Quit smoking. And just like that, he went to battle with a thirty-eight-year habit. . . . 'A lifetime smoker of three to four packs of cigarettes a day, Eisenhower quit cold turkey . . . and never touched a cigarette again.' 'The only way to stop is to stop,' he would tell an aide, 'and I stopped.' Holiday, at 29.
That last line is both the simplest and hardest concept in thinking about discipline. All we need to do to have the virtue of discipline is to be more disciplined. But as anyone knows who has tried to start a new habit or get rid of a vice, it’s difficult. You want to be an early riser, but when the alarm rings at 5:00 a.m., you suddenly have second thoughts.
Talk with anyone who gets up early, however, and it is likely they will tell you that those first few hours of the day are some of the best for productivity, creativity, prayer, exercise, or other activities they find important. I know someone who is very successful in finance and attributes his success to waking up early—like 3:45 a.m. early—and working in solitude from 3:45 to 6:45 a.m. That’s been a key to his productivity. But it took discipline to develop that habit.
Getting up early is a good example because when you work backward, you see that the discipline of “getting up early” actually requires a number of other disciplines. If you want to get up early, you need to go to bed at a reasonable hour. That means you need to plan activities to end by the same time. You probably want to avoid caffeine after dinner so you can get to sleep early enough. And it’s likely you should also avoid alcohol in the evenings so that you do not wake up groggy or have difficulty sleeping. So, working your way back from 5:00 a.m., there are a number of other decisions you have to make—and disciplines to develop—in service of the larger goal of getting up early.
Even if there are many habits you need to develop to get to your ultimate goal, it is worth the effort. It is hardly “freedom” to go through life directed by your passions, pulling you this way and that. Discipline—the ancient virtue, temperance—gives you the self-mastery necessary for true flourishing. “Temperance is not deprivation but command of oneself physically, mentally, spiritually—demanding the best of oneself, even when no one is looking, even when allowed less.” Holiday, at xx-xxi. “‘When a man can control his life, his physical needs, his lower self,’ Muhammad Ali would later say, ‘he elevates himself.’” Holiday, at 12.
Someone caught in the throes of addiction does not have control of themselves. Their passions control their actions, not their reason. If we use reason, we become willing to delay gratification in furtherance of a greater good. Lou Gehrig is another person Holiday profiles as possessing the virtue of temperance. “Gehrig was fully ready to admit that his discipline meant he missed out on a few pleasures. He also knew that those who live the fast or the easy life miss something too—they fail to fully realize their own potential. Discipline isn't deprivation . . . it brings rewards." Holiday, at 8. Gehrig would have had two marshmallows.
So if we want to develop discipline, how do we start? Some authors and commentators call it “massive action.” It’s doing what Eisenhower did to quit smoking—he just quit. If you want to get up early, don’t move your alarm back 10 minutes a day for two weeks until you get to your desired time, just set the alarm and get up when it goes off. Taking massive action is neither easy nor comfortable, but that is often what is required to start. To be a runner, you just need to start running. You cannot sit on the couch six days a week and consider one day a week sufficient to develop a habit. But if you are not used to running, it’s going to be hard. But we need to start.
Sometimes we first need to clear out any distractions: “The first step, [Seneca] said, was to pull yourself out of the ignorance of your dependency, whatever it happens to be. Then you need to get clean—get clean from your mistress, from your addiction to work, from your lust for power, whatever. In the modern era, we might be hooked on cigarettes or soda, likes on social media, or watching cable news. It doesn’t matter whether it’s socially acceptable or not, what matters is whether it’s good for you.” Holiday, at 31.
What is good for us is to discipline ourselves and take control. That could be manifested in small ways—we may forgo dessert, we might have one fewer drink, we might make our bed first thing when we get up, or we may get up early to work on that personal project we’ve wanted to start on for years and never did. Or it may show up in profound ways—starting a business, changing careers, finally asking her to marry you. Let’s stop the mediocrity and choose greatness, because every day presents a choice. “What counts is what we do about it today. That we choose to stop being a slave. We choose freedom. We save ourselves so we can save (and keep saving) the world.” Holiday, at 33. The only thing stopping us is us.
Remember to turn every page. Enjoy your weekend. Please let me know whether you need anything.
Best,
Aaron